Two Years Ago

Two years ago today our sweet angel returned to his father in heaven. Not a day goes by that you are not on my mind and in my heart. I love you so much sweetie!

If You Could See Where I have Gone

If you could see where I have gone, the beauty fo this place,
And how it feels to know you're home, to see the Savior's face.
To wake in peace and know no fear, just joy beyond compare,
While still on earth you miss me yet, You wouldn't want me there.

If you could see where I have gone, had made the trip with me.
You'd know I didn't go alone, the Savior came with me.
When I awoke, He was by my side, and reaching down His hand,
Said, "Hurry child, you're going home, to a grand and glorious land.
Don't worry over those you love, for I'm not just with you.
And don't you know with you at home, they'll long to be here, too?"

If you could see where I have gone, and see what I've been shown.
You'd never know another fear or ever feel alone.
You'd marvel at the care of God. His hand on every life;
And realize He really cares, and bears with us each strife;
And that He weeps when one is lost. His heart is filled with pain.
But, oh, the joy when one comes home, a child home again.

If you could see where I have gone, could stay awhile with me;
Could share the things that God has made to grace eternity.
But, no, you couldn't ever leave. Once heaven's joys you'd known.
You couldn't bear to walk earth's paths again, once heaven was your home.

If you could see where I have gone. You'd know we'll meet someday.
And though I'm parted from you now, that I am just away.
So thank you, friends- thank you family for living for the Lord.
For teaching me to love Him, to trust Him and His word.
And now that I'm home with Him, secure in every way,
I'm waiting here at heaven's door- to greet you some sweet day.

Happy Birthday!

Well today would of been Cole's second birthday. Having just finished Drew's and Hudson's there is a huge part in me wishing that I was having another party today. There is not a day that goes by that I wish I could see a third little boy running crazy around my house. The struggles of raising children are real but my desire to have him here with us is stronger. It gets harder sometime, as time goes by. I find myself yearing for those last days with him and wanting just one more day. Sometimes it is hard to believe that I even had him and lost him so quickly so I think back to that November and the wave of emotions come over me. To me he is still my son, and I want to shout out to everyone that I have three boys. I often lay in bed imagining that he is in my arms along with his brothers. I know that he is near, but as life gets busy it becomes harder to feel him. I miss him at times like this so much! It breaks my heart that every year Drew thinks that he is coming back from Heaven and that he is going to have another baby to play with. I truly feel that Drew and him had a close relationship. For Drew to remember and feel so much at two years old when Cole died is truly remarkable. Here is to you little man! Happy Birthday Cole! I am giving you a huge hug and kissing your sweet forehead. I love you so much and am so proud and blessed to be your mommy! Hugs and kisses forever!

2011 Cole's Yard Sale Fundraiser!!

I want to plan a yard sale in behalf of Cole. The money collected will be donated to Primary Children's Medical Center to hopefully help another family with the medical costs of having a child as a patient there. I thought if I started to collect things now, it will be a great sucess, come next summer. Please help! I am willing to store everything donated throughout the year in my house. Now is the time of year when many families are going through clothing and tossing what doesn't fit anymore. Instead of taking it elsewhere, please let me collect those items so the yeard sale will be a sucess. Thank you for all of your love and support!!