Happy Birthday!

Well today would of been Cole's second birthday. Having just finished Drew's and Hudson's there is a huge part in me wishing that I was having another party today. There is not a day that goes by that I wish I could see a third little boy running crazy around my house. The struggles of raising children are real but my desire to have him here with us is stronger. It gets harder sometime, as time goes by. I find myself yearing for those last days with him and wanting just one more day. Sometimes it is hard to believe that I even had him and lost him so quickly so I think back to that November and the wave of emotions come over me. To me he is still my son, and I want to shout out to everyone that I have three boys. I often lay in bed imagining that he is in my arms along with his brothers. I know that he is near, but as life gets busy it becomes harder to feel him. I miss him at times like this so much! It breaks my heart that every year Drew thinks that he is coming back from Heaven and that he is going to have another baby to play with. I truly feel that Drew and him had a close relationship. For Drew to remember and feel so much at two years old when Cole died is truly remarkable. Here is to you little man! Happy Birthday Cole! I am giving you a huge hug and kissing your sweet forehead. I love you so much and am so proud and blessed to be your mommy! Hugs and kisses forever!